“we went for another applicant"

“Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”--- Isaiah 41:10

That’s right. God has it all under control. Every single rejection I receive is all in God’s hands. He has the proper place, with the proper employer, and at the proper time for me to start work.  It’s rather interesting to go through a few interviews, think you actually might have become friends, and then you get “we went for another applicant”…. I guess we were never friends… I am just an applicant in this world of business.

I won’t bore you with the lists and the lists of lists of where I have applied, interviewed, and have been ignored/rejected…. But the latest is this morning… for a secretary position… I call back the person who was in charge of hiring, had my notebook out--- ready to take notes… the call was much shorter than I hoped for… this is what I wrote down:

Pay= $0

Health Insurance taken out per pay period= doesn’t matter

I didn’t get it. Treading on……

And I did a little...very little...cry… asked God for help because I cannot do anything at all, and went back into my comfortable office to continue working, surrounded by co-workers that I have grown rather fond of.

My Upcoming "Tread":

Ladies and gentlemen for the first time ever in my life I am going to drive 400 miles away from home… to my other home and of course back. I drive everyday… and I never really worry about car troubles—such as tires popping or car overheating (I’m pretty sure worse things can happen)… but awaiting this Thursday that is what I think about. Vlad did a good job to prepare my car for trips as such and also gave me a handy dandy AAA card where someone will come rescue me wherever I am…. This leads me to my second worry. My iPhone… it’s a great phone but sometimes it has a mind/world of its own and chooses to crash and disconnect me from the world completely. So as long car troubles and phone troubles don’t happen at the same time… it will be good. I was thinking of learning how to change a spare… but that tire is way too heavy--- it’s not a small spare--- no I am not pretending to be a feeble girly girl who can’t learn to change a tire… but it’s a very heavy tire.

On this 3 day trip I will have the opportunity to interview for a banker type position with USC… first with the company COO and then the CEO (hopefully!)… and if that fails…  I will be meeting with a recruiter from Robert Half Finance and Accounting.

I will also be able to spend some time with Vlad, cook up some meals, make my home even homier, go to church, and drive back to my lovely Sacramento.

Exposed

...Wow... I don't know where to begin... I am not sure what I want to write down and remember so well. But this has been one of my life changing 2 weeks... It has not been very easy, but I think something great has come out of it. The Lord is definitely working on me, through this experience I was able to see what I was struggling with and did not even know it! Of course in the comfort of Ashton Parc, Sacramento, surrounded by family and friends, steady income coming in, etc... I thought I knew what I meant when I said, "I trust the Lord, He has it all under control, by His grace...." now I am able to live it and it does not seem that it will become any easier very soon (it might); however, I know that my Creator has given my husband and me an opportunity. Although there isn't a very clear picture in front of us on how we are going to do this... I trust that God will provide when it is the right time.

Last Sunday's church service was a sobering one for me. The word was encouraging and convicting as Vincent continued preaching through the first chapter of Romans; and singing hyms in church was such a great time of repentance for me because the words of complete dependance and trust on God, were flowing from my heart, sometimes it was difficult to sing along because as the melody went on I felt exposed, exposed of my weakness and sin. After church, Vlad also helped me as he talked me through what I was feeling and believing and we got to the bottom of it... we are going! I support Vlad in his studies, I believe in what we are doing, and right now there isn't anything else I would rather work so hard on.

On another note:
I was able to let my manager know what is going on and he completely understood and blessed me. He is being very supportive and appreciated that I let him know ahead of time by including him in my situation. I am seeking employment and he let me know that I can use his name and phone number as my reference! Great! I can answer YES to "may we contact your current employer". So for now, Vlad gets to go down to Los Angeles every Monday and come back to Sacramento Thursday nights for the next couple of weeks until I obtain employment. Praying for wisdom on exactly how I should transition to my Burbank home. Hopefully, I could schedule interviews for Fridays and drive down to our Burbank home some weekends too; that way we can sort of alternate weekends on driving up and down. Interstate 5 has become our normal route and feels rather "homey".

For Now:
I get to continue working at my current job as a credit analyst and enjoy living in three different homes, Vlad's parents, my parents, and Burbank. I am able to spend quality time with my family and friends while I am still here, and when I go down to Burbank I get to spend quality time interviewing, hopefully! Keeping my ears and heart open for counsel I get from my loving family and friends, it is encouraging. Most importanly, I am dwelling in the bible, constantly being reminded that if this life is lived without glorifying God and living for Him, it is a waste; to obtain things on earth and enjoy when everthing clicks together will never ever ever ever compare to when it clicks in the Kingdom, whether when Jesus returns or I am called home.

What to Expect

I am really not sure what to expect. Right now I am living about two or one and a half day at a time... that's it. Employment? Uncertain. Move date? Uncertain. Is this going to work out? Uncertain. How long is this going to take? Uncertain.  I can keep going on and on... but I won't because it feels like it won't end. And I know that it will all work out and all the uncertainties will either no longer matter or will be figured out.

Now let me bring up the fun part: (it's only going to be fun if I make it that way)

The HOME!:

 What I am expecting: 

- Wood-like smell.... Old wood smell--- or actually there is this strong-smelling paint that the older places pour all over everything to make it... look nice.

- Foot traffic past our windows and door

- Electric Guitar playing neighbor

- and the rest of the miscellaneous things/objects that need to tended to.

I can either mope, dread, and worry... but how silly would that be?! I can make this fun and enjoyable... I must react correctly and enjoy what I do have... seriously as long as I am with Vlad it doesn't matter.

First things First:

- I’ll come with Windex, bleach, multi-purpose/surface cleaner, and air freshener plugs.

- Figure out where to get inexpensive heavy and long curtains to put on the windows.

- I just need to like listening to electric guitar, maybe pick up violin lessons again to balance out the noises, and if it gets out of hand… I guess we can always politely knock…

Now back to right now:

I really miss Vlad and cannot wait until we get to spend a week together- in between his studies and classes. Right now he is at orientation for an entire week--- all by himself in a city that is not home and in an apartment that does not feel like home. 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God." - Phi 4:6 

Reminiscing...

Just reminiscing on what has happened thus far..... [probably too early to do that; but it feels like it has been a very long time] and it is very nice for me to look back and see how much God has got us through and it reminds me that He will see us through right now and later....

Here is just a brief-ish list of somethings we have been doing in the past 2-3 months... and it isn't over yet.

- Hours upon hours searching on the internet for places to live… hanging out on Google maps to get to know neighborhoods.

- 3 x’s 800+ miles: 2400+ miles driven

- More than 40 units and many neighborhoods.

- 2 hotel stays

- 1 day trip back and forth

- Lots of laughing and sometimes crying...crying

- Changing and eating on the go in the car

- Almost getting stuck in the summit in the night time--- I cried from joy when we got to Tejon Ranch… I really did and couldn’t stop bawling… from being so happy THANKING GOD.

- On the long stretch of I-5 on the way back home we caught up on the first season of Modern Family.

- Settling on possibly living in something from way past (not the pretty kind), thinking we are going to live in something wonderful as a California 20s home (fabulous), and finally we are settling in an very nice apartment that feels just like home J

- Buying a refrigerator… 90% of units usually don’t come with one….

- Learning how to send an overnight priority Fed Ex shipment (an envelope for $35!!)

- The recipient was in the shower….. so the envelope could have been sent  via standard 2 day and NOT for $35…. WAIT… I called lovely Fed Ex and GUESS what!? Yes. You can CATCH the envelope in transit and they can redeliver it for you! Chris the delivery man called me and told me he will get it to my recipient within 30 minutes! How lovely! Now I am not too sad about having to pay $35 for an envelope, this time.

- Moving in and absolutely doubting the decision. We prayed, cried, and pleaded. Then we were reminded that this is exactly what we’ve wanted/dreamed and thought about for the past two years… so we HAD to attempt it.

- Checking my email every hour during business hours

- Staying hopeful and having faith when what is in sight didn’t seem possible.

- Realizing we are not really LOSING much…There’s a way to recuperate.

- Understood the power of support from our family and friends. From packing, moving, carrying, wiping my tears, their care, and prayer--- they are here for us.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I amyour God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." -Isa 41:10